To me, the stairmaster is a torture device. I’ve given it a try a few times, but I’m not a fan. And the machine that actually simulates climbing stairs? Forget it. You’d never get me on it. I don’t mind stairs; I just don’t like flight after flight. Where am I going with this? You’ll see in a minute.
Drew and I went on a Great Wall tour. We tried to go on our own, but that was an aborted attempt last Monday. Turns out that while it’s simple to navigate the subway system, it is damn near impossible to navigate the bus system (that is, if you don’t speak Chinese). We decided that the easiest way to see the Great Wall would be on a tour, and it was. The nice thing about the tour was that it was all inclusive- we didn’t have to take care of transportation or tickets. It was nice to just kick back and see the sights. And this one was super cheap, about $30 for each of us.
There were about ten of us in our tour group, which was good because the last thing I wanted was a guide who would have to yell to us through a bullhorn. The day started off at the Thirteen Ming Tombs, specifically the tomb of Emperor #13. Visiting what is really just a fancy cemetery doesn’t sound particularly appealing, but I guess it depends on how you frame it. The Ming Tombs are about 30 miles north of Beijing, and I’m pretty sure that few people would visit them were the tour not a package deal.
This was a quick tour; there was not a whole lot to see except for a hall and the underground palace, which is where the tomb is located. Next, we headed to a Jade Factory, definitely a tourist trap. We had a quick tour and then we left to browse the massive showroom of expensive jade jewelry and sculptures. I sincerely doubt that anyone ever goes to the Jade Factory of their own volition. I think that the factory attracts only tour groups, and it knows its place in the Great Wall package tours- it is the lunch destination.
After lunch, we headed to the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall. It was really nice to get out of Beijing and into the country. I saw some cows, which excited me so much that I nudged Drew and woke him to see. We chose the Mutianyu section because it was close and not as touristy and crowded as the Badaling section. I think this was a good choice.
We were given two hours to explore the Great Wall. Now, there are two ways to actually get up to the Wall. You can either take a cable car or you can climb. Not walk, not stroll, but climb. Well, not climb as in scale a mountain, but climb as in climb steps. Lots of them. Our travel book said that it would take an hour to climb to the Wall. A woman in our tour group (who appeared to be in our age and athletic ability range) had recently visited and said that it took her 30 to 40 minutes. So, we decided to climb because we were certain that we could and because we were certain that this was a critical part of the entire experience.
Remember how I told you that I think the stairmaster is a torture device? I don’t know what I was thinking when I agreed to climb up to the Great Wall. The hike isn’t just a gradual mosey on up the mountain. It is comprised entirely of steps. Sure there are some platforms to rest every few flights or so, but it is all steps. It took us 30 minutes to reach the top. Thirty minutes of solid stair climbing. We were sweaty and hot when we got to the top, but we were good sports about the climb and we made it. And yes, climbing to the wall was part of the experience. It was truly an accomplishment, and I’m not sure if my Great Wall experience would have been the same had I not hauled my own ass up to the top. Here we are when we finally reached the top:
Once we got to the Wall, there was more hiking to do. It isn’t flat; there are hills and valleys. After climbing up the wall, it was slightly daunting to think that if I wanted to see anything, there would be more climbing. 
The Great Wall was built in sections from the 5th century BC to the 17th century AD, and countless workers died in the process. I cannot imagine how it was possible to built such a mammoth structure. It is so unbelievable, and something that I’ve seen many times in pictures. It was really cool to see in person, even if it was just a small section.
I’m told that there are spectacular views from the Wall, but I’m not sure. It was a smoggy and overcast day, so we couldn’t see too far into the distance. Regardless, we could see enough into the mountains to wonder why building a wall was even necessary. The mountains seemed impenetrable in our eyes. I guess they weren’t enough to ward off pesky intruders.
Drew and I walked from tower to tower, enjoying the view and pausing to take note of how the wall snakes through the mountains.
The weather was humid, but despite this, it was surprisingly tolerable. The heat has been nearly unbearable this past week, so I was nervous that we’d be miserable at the Wall. It turned out to be cooler outside the city, and the towers provided some nice and refreshing breezes. After exploring the Wall, Drew and I took the cable car down to the parking lot. We had never done such a thing before, and it was really neat to float above the trees. When we reached the end, we had to walk through the gauntlet of souvenir vendors to get to the parking lot.
There must be something about my demeanor because I am almost always able to stave off solicitors. I think I’ve blogged about this before. It doesn’t matter where I am or what people are selling, they usually leave me alone. The only time that it isn’t true is when it comes to Mormon missionaries trying to convert me. Then it appears that I have a giant invisible sign that says I am going straight to hell and need to be saved. Anyway, I’ve gotten a bit off track here. The point is that I was able to walk through the tourist trap gauntlet rather peacefully. Drew, however, was not. Every vendor was trying to sell him something- a t-shirt, a mask, a book. It was kind of funny. Vendors would try to hawk t-shirts for a dollar, then in the next breath, they would lower their price and offer 2 for a dollar. Other vendors sold street food, and we even found a Subway:
If vendors were really savvy, they would sell cold showers and massages, because those are the things that you really need after you descend the Great Wall.
Here are the pictures from our day:
Chris with a 'K' 